“I’m starting a new chapter.”

Sounds so confident and certain. So wonderfully focused, sure-footed, and all-eyes-to-the-future.

But many times those transitions or pivot points in our lives feel like slogging through, seeking through the fog of fear and uncertainty to find solid ground again.

For me, those times have included the birth of my first child, my first job after residency, leaving clinical practice, and more recently, moving from daily active mom to mother of independent young adults.

For physicians I’ve worked with they’ve included divorce, retirement, starting a private practice to become their own boss, and a shift in management at work that creates a whole new organizational culture and expectations.

Whatever the event, these turning points ask us, in a rather demanding tone, to take stock and to revisit our deepest sense of identity.

If a large part of my attention and time is no longer focused where it was before (the needs of young children, the relationship with a now-ex spouse, the career I dedicated 30 years to), who in the world am I? How do I spend my time? What is satisfying to me? What draws my attention?

What is a meaningful way to live my life now?

Our instinct might be to avoid standing still long enough to ask ourselves these questions, but I’ve learned through my experience and by watching my clients navigate these waters, there is real value in pausing here. Not to slow our movement, but to soak it in.

Being in it, being present with all the thoughts and feelings of leaving one place and stepping into another is the key to moving towards self-actualization. Self-actualization, the pinnacle of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, sounds lofty and cerebral but in concrete terms is simply the full realization of one’s potential. It’s becoming more of our authentic selves. It’s growing towards our purpose. What could be more valuable and satisfying than that?

Whether you’re in a new chapter now or find yourself there in the future, take a pause to drink in the experience. Let that connection with yourself bring you clarity and confidence as you boldly stride into your most actualized self. 

And if you’re finding it challenging to navigate these waters, I invite you to schedule some time with me. We can figure it out together.