I’ve had a few moments in my life where time seems to stand still. 

I’m not talking about being in the flow of creativity or about a near-death experience. I’m referring to those times where a sudden realization makes you reconsider how you’ve viewed yourself or your life in fundamental ways.

After leaving clinical practice, I was dogged by guilt and shame for at least a decade. I viewed my choice as proof of weakness, that I “couldn’t hack” being a doctor. I kept to myself professionally, working quietly in my home office as a freelance writer for nonprofit organizations. 

My story and my voice remained hidden. It felt safer that way.

Then, the coach I’d hired to help me navigate life as a newly divorced working mother sat me down one day. By then, we’d worked out the basics of my life. She looked me in the eye and said words that stopped time.

“Why have you never told your story about burnout and leaving medicine publicly? It could help someone.” To my stunned silence, she added, “You know, what you did was courageous.”

Her reframing of the situation transformed how I saw my life—and my subsequent career. 

In 2011 I shared my story on an NPR blog. There were 26,000 views in a week, and physicians began contacting me with their personal stories. The rest, as they say, is history. In the time since, I have dedicated my career to working with physicians to create sustainable careers.   

A physician client of mine recently shared that she sees coaching as “The School of Unlearning.” She has found new awarenesses and new ways of responding that have transformed her career too. Her work environment is still stressful, but she sets limits now that mitigate the stress and allow her to live a full life.

I too unlearned something in coaching. My perception of myself, and therefore my choices about my career, were limited and fixed. It was a trusted coach who opened my eyes and inspired me to reshape the trajectory of my life.

What perceptions of yourself might be fixed—and holding you back by limiting your options? How might you begin to shift them? I encourage you to ask yourself these questions today. And if you’re finding it challenging to discover them alone, I invite you to schedule some time with me. We can figure it out together.